"Kaya ko pa ba?" (monologue version) :D

Kay tagal ko na itong kinikimkim, damdamin ko'y patuloy na dumidilim, puso at pakiramdam ko’y parang bombang sasabog. Panlabas ko mang anyo’y mukhang maligaya, mga mata ko man ay hidi nagpapakita ng luha ngunit pag iyong natanaw ang tunay na ako, makikita mo, puso ko'y patuloy na dumurugo.

Inisip ko minsan na ipahiyag na sa'yo ngunit kulang ako sa lakas ng loob at wala akong ideya sa iyong magiging reaksyon. Ano kaya iyong maaring desisyon? Di ko inaasahan na ika'y aking iibigin
hinuha ko namang ika'y aking malilimutan ngunit, ano ba itong aking natamo? hinagpis at lumbay lamang ang iyong binibigay.

Sikreto ko sayo'y ipinaparamdam naman, paminsan ay nagpapapansin na rin ako sayo, tulad ng paglapit ko, pakikipagtuwaan sayo. Manhid ka ba? o sa pag-ibig ay walang kaalaman. 'di mo ba talaga ramdam handog na pagmamahal? o ika'y nagpapanggap na walang alam? Baka naman puso mo'y inialay na sa iba at ang akin naman ay dinukot mo na, di mo ba alam? Tanong ko'y bakit sa'yo pa ito dumidikit?

Nang minsan..nakikita kita na sa kanya nakikipagkwentuhan, nakikipagtawanan at kayo’y masayang magkasama. Pinipigilan ko na lamang tumulo ang aking mga luha. Iniiwasan ko na lamang kayo’y makita nang lumisan ang sakit. At paminsan ay para bang maspinipili mo syang makasama.

Hanggang ngayon ako pa rin ay nagdurusa. Kakayanin pa kaya ng pasensya na umasa? Makakya ko pa kaya ang mga sakit? o patuloy ko nang ibabaon sa limot ang lahat? Nang minsang, may sinabi sa akin ang aking kaibigan na nagdulot sa aking pag-iyak. Sa mga oras na iyon ay galit ang nadarama sa iyo. Inisip ko na dapat kalimutan na kita. Pinilit ko ang sarili ko na wag kang pansinin na wag kang kausapin ng maayos. Ngunit, sadyang hindi ko kaya gawin lahat ng ito. Balik lamang ako ng balik sayo dahil alam ko na masaya ako kung ikaw ang kasama.

Kay daming tanong ng aking isipan ngunit ito’y lumilisan sa iyong ngiti. Sa anong paraan kita malilimutan? Kung sa aking mundo'y ikay patuloy na umiikot. Siguro nga ay may rason ang Diyos kung bakit di pa rin kita malimutan ngunit sa naman sa dulo’y hindi na ako masaktan at sana matapos na ito agad dahil ito’y parating bumubulabog sa akin. Ito na lamang ang kahulihulihang sasabihin ko sa iyo; Mahal na mahal talaga kita sana'y makita na iyan ng iyong mga mata dahil masyado na akong nasasaktan at di ko alam kung kaya ko pa ba.

GooDBYe!

"Goodbye..."

You were once the sun of my day
but now you are those black clouds that covers the light.

You were my puppy I could smile at
but now you are those snakes and cockroaches.

You were a switch of my light that was always 'on'
but now you took off the electricity and turned 'off'.

You were a rock song i would like to sing with
but now you are a slow music I hated to hear.

You were a chocolate before
but now you are the vegetable that makes me vomit.

You were a beautiful tree with those yummy fruits
but now you seem like a weed that should be pulled out.

You were a beach I'd love to stay in
but now you are a dirty river.

You were a water, best thing that fills my thirst
but now you are a beer I'd never taste.

You were a math problem that was easy to solve
but now even I use calculator, it would say "syntax error"

You were a medicine that best soothes pain
but now you are the worst drug I'll never take.

You were an entertaining television
but now you're a radio that doesn't have any stations.

I was once a fresh air
but you made it so dirty because of your factories.

My heart was so sweet for you
but now you made it so bitter.

It was a glass, so I took care of it
but you've just dropped it carelessly.

It was a precious thing for me
but you just threw it in the trashcan

I had patience
but then you told it to stop!

YOU ARE THE WORST OF ALL THE WORST!
MAGSISISI KA!

>:(

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SISIRAIN KO NA LAHAT NG GAMIT DITO SA SOBRANG GALIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SA SOBRANG INIIIIIIIIS!!!!!!!!!!!!SA SOBRANG SELOS!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TAE TALAGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SYA NA NGA!!!!!!!SYA NA NGA!!!!!!SYA NGA!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NANGGIGIL AKO GRABEEEEEE!!!!!!

i DoN'T CaRE!

i don't care eh-eh-eh-eh-eh!

I'm not mad!see?it's a song.HAHA.
It's a Korean song actually, sang by 2ne1!wohoo!i start to get addicted with POPS in SEOUL!And I'm starting to influence my classmates ;P

I got interested at it when I saw Sandara Park in "arirang", a channel of Koreans. Good thing it has english subs. They call her "Dara" there. They were 4 in their group and their songs are amazingly catchy!haha. I was first addicted to "Lollipop", but they sang with another group called "Big Bang" and I think that group was popular.And then I started to search songs..

At first, when I heard the music, I wasn't so interested but then Lynn said she was addicted to it so I listened to it. And YES!very addictive. I also like "fire". Their were already popular and so ABS-CBN started to make news about how Sandara is now succesful in her country. But she still sang "in or out" which was tagalog.

So..when your mad, you just say and sing.. "I DON'T CARE EH EH EH EH EH"
Here's a video!Enjoy!and be addictive like me!HAHA.

...too tired and lazy to upload.maybe tomorrow this will be updated :D i promise!

Problem solved!

yeah!So yesterday. I, Ruth and Issa went to SM to solve the problem below this post :D
So.. there.first we asked in the Kodak. We explained what happened. She said it has virus so we asked if we could transfer the files into another memory card. She said yes, but only the pictures :(

So, we went up in the 3rd floor because that's the place where most of the stores are affecting gadgets. So there.. and then. We went inside some stores and ask them, they said they can't solve it. After those, we went inside the WELLCOM. waaaaaaa! we talked to the guy and then he said it really has a virus. So we asked if he could solve it. He said yes, only we have to pay 100. Not thinking twice, I agreed to it. But we make sure that the files won'e deleted! PHEW! at last! it was solved ^^ THANK YOU LORD.

every challenge has it's own solution.

:( i just can't put away that sad expression from my face. I've prayed already..but still I can't. Okay..the title's my motto for today..oh well.why?i'll explain it.

So..I, Ruth and Ryan decided to video our puppet show today and the meeting place is at school. But before that, Ryan and Ruth took a picture of themselves as one of the props for our project and they went to SM for it be developed. After that, the stopped over my house so that we'll go together to school.

At first..it was good. So much bloopers which means so much laughters. So.. for taking a few scenes, it wasn't good enough, so we repeated it. But still it wasn't good though we were serious at that time. While I was watching it, Ryan and Ruth were a little tired because they had so much character voices, and then I said "nde ito pwede, maboboring tao sa panonood nito". The two was hungry but instead they just bought drinks and some junk foods. I was left with Issa and Jake who came along also because their group also decided the school as the meeting place.

I told Ryan and Ruth that after eating, they should start to make dubs while I fix the video.. I mean the whole scenes but without their voices. I'll just edit it after.

Issa and Jake's groupmates came afterwards. They were thinking for another type of story because Creesha said it was too common to be a story. So, I helped her too. We finished the video at around 5 pm. So..we were so happy.

Ryan stayed at school to wait or his mom. Ruth and I walked going to their house so that we could leave there the box. After that, we went to the plaza because we were suppose to wait for Ryan because I left my memory card in his phone because we used my memory card so that we could have at least music (well because it was too boring, the other group went to Creesha's house for their shooting too).

But.. we decided to go to SM, we can't wait for Ryan that long. Blah blah blah we bought something to eat then we decided to go to our house so that we could copy the files from the memory card. This is where it starts..

when we inserted the memory card. There was a box that came out saying it has virus. So, I clicked "remove all unhealed infections" and then I pulled out the memory card and put it back. After putting it back. THERE! the files doesn't show! :( what will we do T.T it's not our's :( but good thing the files were still there.phew!but really don't know what to do.

MIND says RED. HEART says GREEN.

mind says red|heart says green
get it?it's a traffic light :D

but that's truth :(
i just can't find someone to understand this besides Jesus. i mean, i have friends and i know they're there for me. but.. it's just that, i think they can't connect. they won't understand. they'll think i'm over reacting or think that i'm very much serious with it.right? :(

okay..so i feel... well, i really can't describe the way I feel right now.
uhh.. does he like her?! :( T.T
that's the biggest question i have in here.
i just can't answer it.
i sometime want to stop holding on.. but i just can't. there something inside me that doesn't want to!
i'm always thinking of ways so that i won't think of only him. and i'm also making ways to forget him. err. what's the plan of God? I don't really know.

okay..maybe..i'll just update this when this feeling happens again.